Do all politicians hire science fiction writers to write their speeches?

I am going to seriously soil my underwear if I hear one more bloviating political candidate say, “Our party is going to take back America.”  And, we are going to do it in 2012.  Oh, really?  Where abouts are you going to take our America to Bubba?  I thought they had outlawed science fiction in politics years ago.  Now you say Take it back from where and take it to where again?  Politicos from both sides of the political divide have been saying this for decades if not centuries.  And, you know what Garbonzo?  It never has happens.  America is still ere.  Rooted in the bedrock of the American Constitution.  Taking America anywhere is like pushing a tiger by the tail and trying to push it towards the mythical goal of “taking back America.  There are too many old folks like us that have heard it all and knowing taking back America will seldom if ever happen.  It never needs taking back.  We are where we want to be and have been there for decades.  Good luck.

Then there are these partisan wags whose sole purpose in life is to “rid America of Socialism.”  “I will vote down every attempt to socialize anything in America,” an ignorant politician recently retorted before a partisan TV audience.  I would be willing to bet he also has a library card.  A card to a socialized free service provided by county taxes.  And perhaps, maybe once in the past he called the police to an emergency and not paying a dime for the police officer’s services.  Services paid by the city sales tax.  And if it weren’t for tax subsidies, the political nare-do-well would have to haul his own trash to the subsidized city dump.  Need I go on?  From parks to airports in our town, all are paid mostly by sales or property taxes.  All social contracts with the citizens of our town.  Major socialism that I have ever seen.  What a totally stupid and ignorant thing for these political blockheads to say.  What jerks!  Get these guys off the TV and away from our sensibility.  They are an embarrassment and insult to us all.

Rick Perry!  Go back to Shallowhead, Texas.  Michele Bachmann!  Go back to BettyCrocker, Minnesota.  Mit Romney!  Go back to Bumperguard, Michigan.  Newt Gingrich!  Go back to Poisonwell, Georgia.

Get these whackos off the stage.  Or get me some TP fast!  I feel it coming down.