Customer service that ain't

I have been on the phone with India about a dozen and half times for the past three plus weeks. Talking to “technical support.” It’s like listening to a two and a half year old chimpanzee learning English. I haven’t a clue what they are saying. “Meestare –Iears, my neem is Billy Bob.” Yeah right.

Now, how in heck are we supposed to explain our technical difficulties with someone, who first of all, knows nothing about our culture and it expectations? Expectations like customer service. The India boys and girls seem to be zombie like when I try to explain my technical problem. Possibly they are thinking, “These kind of problems exist all the time here in India. Why should I care?” However, this is what our American tech provider wants. A human “Fire Wall” to put off their annoying customers. Customers like myself who expect service and results from a tech provider. In this case I have been talking to my web hosting service. And, conveniently located half a world away in India. Certainly a culture and society half a world away as well.

Secondly and worse of all, the tech boys and girls just read a script. Once you get past the horrific challenge of proving who you are, you will be read to. “Hees wa you muss do Meester I-ears. Bla Bla bla bla.” At this point most people and myself included start to seize up with a raging impulse to send the Navy to the Indian Ocean with Cruise Missiles and armadas of bomb-laden drones.
Where is that call center anyway?” Mumbai? Bangalore? Baliwood? Wherever they are, I want revenge! I would even settle for a cream pie tossed in their faces. Schmushk!