Theory of Relativity?

Here is my one conspiracy theory. And, I must add, everyone who is a citizen of the world is entitled to just one theory of conspiracy by law. So, here is my one conspiracy theory as allowed by the heavily monitored social and political conspiracy ruling. Are you following me?

Here it is: Libraries and schools are the enemy of the Conservatives. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way it doesn’t matter. Nonetheless, being smart does not fly high in the Republican Party.

Case in point: Rick Perry. The dumbest man on Earth. Have so many holes shot in his foot he now travels by wheel chair. Someone please take away his “Open Carry” cheap shots. When will he ever get it right?

Mit Romney: The master of Wishy Washy Flippy Floppies. Can’t make up his mind and give a final pronouncement. What he has said keeps changing and I’m certain it will continue as necessary. A most undependable witness to the truth. How will we ever know what he is thinking?

Herman Cain: Not sure where Libya is. Not really sure where he has been and with whom? Man has a bad memory for past events in his personal life. Thirteen years? He doesn’t remember the 13-year fling? Was he drunk all that time?

Michele Bachmann: Just can’t remember all those pertinent facts. Elvis’ birthday or death? John Quincy Adams? Writer of the Constitution? Nope. And, the list keeps growing.

Need we go on? Who are these candidates’ advisors? Pe Wee Herman? Charlie Sheen? Will they ever get it together? Come on Republicans! Where are your intelligent candidates? Not born yet? Holy Moly! November 2012 is coming soon. Get it together.

So who will it be this week? Newt? Mit? Herman?

First it was Michele. Then it was Mit. Then it was Rick in a big way. Then here came Herman out from left field. Then here came Mit again. Now it is Newt’s turn to flounder and contort the truth. If this ain’t “flip-flop” on the Republican bandwagon, I’ll gladly eat my Styrofoam convention hat.

All this indecisiveness is due to the Wishy-washiness of the Republican electorate. And I’m sure it won’t stop there. Once the Republicans decide Newt is a bit problematic, they will look back to former governor Mit. The only candidate with credibility. From that juncture, where the Republicans go on to is anyone’s guess.

So, the process will continue. Flip-flopping because some well-intended evangelicals just don’t want a Mormon as a Republican candidate. So is that worse than a two-face slanderer from Georgia who claims he isn’t a Washington insider when he really is. Former speaker of the house not a Washington insider? Give me a break.

Is being Mormon worse than being accused of sexual harassment? Is it worse than being a loopy goofball Texas Governor? Ladies and gentlemen of the Republican Party, what are you thinking?

Speaking as an outsider, I really suggest the Republicans look closer at former governor Huntsman and once again back at Romney. Both have good thoughtful ideas and seem to have broader appeal. Both seem to have quality educations.

However, Republicans don’t want anything well thought out. Plus Republicans don’t trust anyone with an Ivy League education. Once again, Republicans being the narrow-minded champions of one-issue candidates. Throw out the baby with the bath water. Think like us one hundred percent of the time or jump off our flip-flop bandwagon. Kind of stupid, huh? No real wonder I had change political parties.

Herman, I admire your spunk but...

Herman Herman Herman. What is going on in your head? You need to hire a half dozen college professors to help bring you up to date on economics, current events, American History, world history, and Geo-political strategy.

Go to Washington DC and hang around a dozen or more “Think Tanks.” You need to know policy as suggested by these brainiacs. It would help your responses to the many complicated questions reporter and journalists ask.

But as I see it, you are not at all ready for prime time. You need to gain admission at either Harvard or Yale and study public policy. Learn Political science. Study Geo-political economics. Take a course or two in marketing and public relations. Hire yourself a military advisor. Most of all read about a dozen world and national newspapers.

You can’t just walk into the presidency by being willfully stupid. America needs a smart and world savvy occupant in the Whitehouse. Go back to school and try again later. Good Luck.

Watching the nightly news is torture.

Is it over yet? Has the carnival moved off the lot and did the buffoonish clowns go as well? Most of all is this traveling political Vaudeville show over with yet? How much longer must we endure this haranguing mental abuse on the nightly news?

To say this Republican Debate is an insult to America’s intelligence is a gross understatement. It is more like cruelty to the listener/viewer. Water torture would be preferred to the dopiness heard from the mouths of political ignoramuses. How much longer must we suffer? Why do we deserve this?

Please Mr. and Mrs. Broadcaster and cable operator, stop this. We’ve heard enough. It only makes each candidate look bad. None of these candidates are fit to run a small time “Dog and Pony” show; much less a government. Where is the proverbial ‘Neck Hook’ to pull them off stage? Spare us! Save us from mental anguish. Save us from Posttraumatic political season disorder. Have mercy. Uncle-uncle-uncle!

Open mouth. Shoot hole in foot. This is debating?

And the traveling circus continues. Clowns continue to entertain and the show goes on. Yapping, haranguing, bloviating, and general tossing out one-liners and forget me nots.

It is astounding that Mit Romney would unabashedly say to a Detroit motor audience, “Bailing out Detroit was a bad idea.” Rick Perry, after stumbling over his own poor memory, says, “Get rid of the DOE.” And the Doe being one of our greatest sources of R and D. Nonetheless, the Republican presidential hopefuls continue to “Write-off” various segments of their constituency. Not only Michiganders, Researches, and public employees, but Hispanics, women, and for the most part, most of America.

So, whom do they have to play to? Red Necks? Bimbos? Armadillos?

Watching these debaters is like viewing a police line-up of suspects accused of crimes against the intelligent of America. What they are saying and how they present it is like junior highers auditioning for America’s Funniest Videos. Clueless, immature, and not ready for Prime Time. Presidential Wannabies who are really nottabies. A shameful bunch of ignoramuses.

Please please, someone come get these clowns off stage. Take them back home and hose them off. Put them back in their boxes and send them back to China. Just get them out of our faces.

Put down your mouse and pick up a newspaper

My twelfth grade civics teacher would probably wet his pants, if he could hear what the current presidential candidates are saying. My teacher would say, “Don’t they read the newspaper? Haven’t they ever read American history?”

It is amazing what ignorance these guys and gal display. To me it is most embarrassing when they speak in public. How did they ever graduate from high school? What self-respecting college or university would admit them into their institution of higher learning? God save us from this obvious display of lack of education.

And this is not to mention just a lack of general knowledge. There are newspapers, magazines, and books that are being overlooked by these candidates. What on earth is on their reading list? The funnies? Sporting news? Gourmet magazine? What?

I hate to say it but these candidates are S-T-U-P-I-D! Unaware, ill-informed, and outright ignoramuses. Holy Moly!

Just don't go in there. You'll waste your money.

The Carnival is still on the road and barkers and side show freaks are as bazaar as ever. Pitchmen are still at it and Shouting making all kinds of outrageous claims. “Lay your money down and come on in if you dare.” See them crawl on their bellies like a reptile. All they want is just a little bit of your money and you get the show of a lifetime. “Come on in take a chance. See the worlds greatest Freak Show. Hurry hurry hurry! Just step right inside the crowded tent.”

And whom do you get to see or hear? Rick, Herman, Mit, Newt, Ron, and the list is almost endless. However, this really isn’t a serious carnival but a feeble attempt by the ultra conservatives to field a presidential chorus line of clowns. However, the men and woman are as bazaar as any carnival sideshow. Bloviating, making outrageous statements, flailing and twisting about like genuine freaks at the circus.

And here is the rub. They are pretending to be serious presidential candidates. And to add humor to their stupidity, they think they have something good to offer the American voters. Oh really?

While these Looney Toons are babbling and debating with each other, the American voters are trying to figure out how to revive the national economy. Plus other Americans are yelling and shouting on Wall Street in order to bring some sensibility and equality to the financial mess. A giant mess which some of the candidates had made in the first place. Who are they kidding?

Is this the kind of lowbrow politics we want to send to Washington? Just more of the same old same from the previous administration. America deserves better. Just tell all of them, NO! Where are the JFKs? Where are the Eisenhower’s? Where are the Roosevelts and Trumans? I’ll even take a Nixon or Ford. Just get these sideshow freaks off stage. God forgive us and God bless America.

Goodbye Rick. Hello Mit.

It appears Rick Perry has lost his Mojo. The blustering and buffoonish Texas governor has slipped off the nation’s Republican debating stage. According to Eyewitnesses that reported in these mornings USA Today, Perry is slipping far behind the front-runner Mit Romney. Even falling behind Godfather Pizza CEO, Herman Cain. So, what has happened to Gov Supercuts?

First of all whatever it was that brought Perry to the national stage obviously doesn’t play nationally as it does in Texas. A state where such juvenile clowning around is sometimes tolerated. But not on national TV and in the national news. Saying dopey and irresponsible things only will get you a mention on late night talk shows. Good entertainment. Bad politics. And tarnishes one own Mojo.

Secondly a politician shouldn’t speak into national microphones and poo poo Social Security and Medicare. A Mojo killer right there. Especially since millions are so dependent on these government programs. Once again a political loose cannon touching the third rail. Zaaaaap! Sudden toast.

Finally, Mr. Big mouth is quickly slipping in to the nation’s political amnesia. Republicans are not as Right Wingish as some political spinners believe. Never the less, another wacky candidate forgotten. Washed away into “who was that guy anyway?” Goodbye Ricky. Give our best to what’s his name, George W something or another down there in Texas territory. Go Horns.

By their fruits yee shall run from them

To watch and listen how Republican candidates have regarded and debated each other recently on TV is a classic example of “Man’s Inhumanity to Man.” Cruel reckless accusations loaded with cheap shots. Firing away indiscriminately at the closes political target trying their very best not to discharge a live load into one’s own foot.

Maybe I’m mistaken. Aren’t these gentlemen and Lady supposed to be moral Christian men and women? If you apply the “Fruit” test (by their fruits yee shall know them) that alone indicates they must be from some other lower moral order. What happened to the “Golden Rule?” What happened to “Love thy neighbor?” What happened to “Do unto others?” What happened to humility, charity, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and other virtues as Jesus once spoke of?

Judging by their fruits, I would hazard to guess these political combatants to be less than human. Possibly ape like and practicing Darwinism. The survival of the fittest. More like survival of the meanest and dirtiest fighters. Absolutely shooting from the hip at close range with falsehood and defamation.

Do we really want these kinds of amoral individuals as our country’s political leaders? God help us all if we do. God bless America anyway.