If computer were human, I would be a "Hitman."

I wonder if I am the only one who has ever thought of slamming my fist onto my computer keyboard? And, for whatever good it would do. Yes, I am a computer abuser. I think ill thoughts about my computer. I wish I could just look at the screen and it would explode. Hmm. Good thing I can’t. Who would clean up the mess and pick the shards of glass out of my bleeding face.

I read in the newspapers many stories of rising incidents of rage and depression. People exploding into meltdown conditions in an instant. Road rage, air travel rage, cell phones in movies rage, can’t get the dinner order right rage, and yes, computer rage. Situations with a short fuse.

But I wonder what percentage of these situations is brought on by unrealistic expectations. A microwave society easily detonated by teetering volatile situations. Situations like being stuck way back in a fast food drive through line. Thinking the fast food place is just waiting to get back at me. Then, fuming, boiling, and erupting into a volcanic plume.

All with the expectation of being handled or solved in an instant. If we can’t complete that Google search in 1.756 seconds, all hell will break loose. Resulting in slamming a fist onto a computer keyboard. Thus, ending up with a smashed keyboard and several bruised knuckles. How stupid.

But, back to my personal computer. I know it hates me. It’s bull headed and self-willed. I really think all computers hate people in general. Especially people who, like myself, refuse to read the computer manual. With the expectation that the computer should be more human friendly. “It should read my thoughts.” Mind recognition? Sure, just download it from readmymind.com.

Anyway, I hate computers. They have created more problems than they have solved. Sometimes taking more time to remedy a problem that it would take if we would just walked to the store and buy a book in person. Computers are just a “Make-work” piece of junk. Microprocessors and software vowing to revenge its human owners. Spiteful, recalcitrant, and silicon contrarians. Just don’t forget to pray to the computer gods. A vengeful bunch.