Hayseeds from the moon. Where did they come from?

While America is trying to dig its way out of a sagging economy and high unemployment, Rick Santorum wants to forbid your wives from using contraceptives. He prefers she be pregnant. Possibly even your daughters as well. “No more birth control for America,” Santorum might say. Even though millions of women have been using contraceptives for half a century. I guess he wants all women to be Roman Catholics. “Barefoot and overdue is better.

Then on another note, Mit Romney is in Michigan hammering the auto unions and its leadership. Bloviating about how awful the automobile industry should not have received a bail out. Plus he would have preferred it shut down. “A total failure,” Romney said. Oh, really? You couldn’t prove it in Detroit. Things are working well in the auto industry most Michiganders would say. “Bail out was a success.”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Republican Party, these are your Republican Presidential candidates. Romney and Santorum. Clearly out of touch. Surely an understatement.

Are these the guys you want running America? Two guys who seem to have just crawled out of a ground hog hole. Clueless and unaware of reality. You want these two guys, Bimbo and Binky to lead America? Surely you jest.

Attack ads should be seen not heard.

Continuing with my thoughts on TV political attack ads. See previous posting for a sample “Attack Ad” designed specifically for and against Mit Romney. LOL.

The person I really like to disparage is Newt Gingrich. He has a cloud covered personality begging to be besmirched. Almost like wearing a target on his forehead. “Attack me. Make my day!”

As mentioned in the previous posting, I prefer to give an image characterization of a candidate rather than a full frontal verbal attack to the political enemy. Economizing the verbiage and dramatizing the image characterization. And as they say a political cartoon is worth a thousand words. Oh really? So, here is for dear old Newt.

In the foreground Newt is standing up on a second story balcony overlooking a multitude of loyal supporters out on a vast open plaza. The camera is at Newt’s back looking towards the audience. Then the camera pans around to his side showing straight locks of black hair angled down over his forehead and a Charlie Chaplin mustache. Newt is wearing a red armband that says, “Erase.” Newt is holding in one hand a stack of papers that says Obama’s Executive orders. And in the other hand is an electric eraser.

The only verbiage that is heard is, “Bla bla bla bla bla…” Finally and scrolling across the bottom of the screen is a brief disclaimer: “Any character likeness of an old European dictator would be purely coincidental. Have a nice day.

Pretty cool huh?

Attack ads are not very nice. I prefer cartoons.

I really don’t like negative ads. Sometimes called attack ads. However, I would instead use image ads. Ads depicting a not so enhancing but truthful image. Something likes image distortion. Well, maybe not that bad. More like a political cartoon. Very little verbiage but big on image characterization.

Nonetheless, here is what I would do to besmirch Mit Romney. In the background of our scenario you would hear Romney rallying the troops. Cheers, applause, and Romney wildly waving his arms. Yelling something indistinguishable to the TV audience. In the foreground and at the bottom half of the screen would be a “Flip-O-meter.” A digital sensing device reading Romney’s Flip-flops on his talking points. A meter pegging well into the Red. Indicating Romney has flipped again.

Scrolling across the screen at the very bottom would be a brief statement. “Romney: If you don’t like what he says today, come back tomorrow.”

Now, later today, I’ll have an image ad for newt. Stay tuned. This is kind of fun. Don’t ya think?

Newt, the movie.

If I were making a film about Newt Gingrich, I would borrow a character and his actor from the Movie The caine Mutiny. The actor, Humphrey Bogart. The character, Lieutenant Commander Phillip Francis Queeg.

Queeg was a certified paranoid possessed with micro managing his ship’s less important tasks. Absorbed in self-important, intensely mistrustful, and hopelessly inept. Possibly lost in the throws of senility. For sure not aware of his surroundings and basically clueless. Maybe something like the great French police detective, Jacques Clouseau. Bumbling, fumbling, and out of touch.

Only he, the Queeg character and Gingrich see themselves in a self-ascribed position of command. Others around them see a pitiful retch destine for self-destruction. Almost as if living in a bubble as did the Emperor as described in the “Emperor’s Clothes.” Attempting to live an illusion that only they could see. Others view Queeg and Gingrich with the naked truth.

Anyway, Gingrich could easily be characterized as shifty eyed, vain, narcissistic, and a guy you wouldn’t want to split a pizza with. He would certainly ask you, “Where’s your pizza?” A real junkyard dog of a friend.

Here's your choices. Either Mr. Plunder or Mr. Blunder.

So here’s how it boils down. You have one Republican candidate who is snarky, snippy, not accountable and wants to be president just because. Because he thinks the other guy, President Obama, shouldn’t be president. It’s that simple. “I want it because I want it!”

The other Republican candidate is one of those nebulous guys who wants it both ways. He wants to be Right and he wants to be in the middle. All at the same time. Seemingly being a revolving flip-flop. Something likes a stern-wheeler paddle riverboat. Swish swash. In and out and in and out of the political waters. But you have to admit, he has nice hair.

Now, Newt Gingrich can easily be characterized as the big “ Government Eraser.” All he wants to do is get rid of everything Obama ever had done while in office. Erase all Obama’s executive orders. Zip. Swoosh! Gone. Off the page. Just like that.

However if you ask Gingrich what he wants to do for the American people, he wants to colonize the Moon. Certainly a worthwhile endeavor. Simply speaking, a hundred billion dollar project to begin with. “Oh, we’ll borrow the money of course.”

Then there’s Mit Romney. Not sure what he will do if elected president. He changes his mind so much it’s hard to say what will be the outcome of his presidency. However, what he is good at is attack ads. He can build a business producing attack ads against anything that he opposes. For example, attack ads against not having a pipeline down the middle of the USA. “Nebraska is evil in not wanting a pipeline!” Clean air and water is ruining America.” “Obamacare will kill you!” “Let congress be dammed.”

So these are the two guys the Republican party want to wish upon us. Doctor Strangelove and Flapjack Mr. Goodhair. Newt or Mit. The two man havoc reeking crew.

It's more like an "Alter Call" by special interests

“You can have all this you see before you,” the devil told Jesus. “All I need is for you to bow down and worship me,” Satan commanded. Certainly an episode from the “Great Temptation” during Jesus’ 40-day fast in the wilderness.

An event where the devil wanted Jesus to compromise his principles and deny God. Unfortunately, a model followed by many of today’s political leaders. In modern terms it’s called selling out to special interests. Mostly followed by Republican politicians. And, to be fair, a few Democrats as well.

What I am getting at is what is the Republican leadership thinking? Who are these candidates they are presenting to us the American voters. All have moral and ethical questions about their past. Most of whom represent the antithesis of what Jesus taught. Selflessness, service to others, giving rather than receiving, giving to the poor, healing the sick, humility, patients, forgiveness, etc. Republican candidates who obviously have a large void in the Christian obligation department.

Either stop calling them Christian or they should start acting and talking like one. We need moral leadership as well as a caring for the American people. Stop the bloviating and create government that helps and serves the people. Not a government that serves big money and oil interests.

Surely there must be a person, man or woman, who has good moral standards and has American’s best interest in mind. A person the Republican Party would be proud to be presented as a good and ethical Presidential candidate. The remaining field of Republican candidates are just too extreme. Too sold out to special interests. Too much the opposite of Christianity. And, too bad. The Republicans will lose big time. How sad.

Have you ever heard a Pet Rock talk?

Now here’s something we can do. We can define the word mediocre. Let’s first start with Mit Romney. An average pedestrian and a bit out of touch individual. Well, maybe a lot out of touch. The only Republican Presidential candidate who often wears flip-flops. You can hear him coming down the street. Flippity-floppity flippity-floppity.

Then to add to our definition, I offer to you Newt Gingrich. Mediocre personified. Most bland and without creativity. Semi-Professorial but most dull. More like a black hole. Some call him a sleep inducer. I describe him more like a nuclear laxative.

Then there is Ron Paul to add to our mediocre definition. A one trick pony. He has nothing else to offer but reduce and take away. Mr. Minus. A Negatory active person. His only solution to anything is to shrink it and drown it in a bathtub. “I’ll make anything look smaller just by thinking about it.” Whoa Jack!

However, you can add the terms apathy, empathic, unresponsive, uncaring, disinterested, inattentive, and many other definitions to the above candidates. The list is endless. But I might say, mediocre is giving all the above political characters too much credit. A Pet Rock would be more like their true personalities.

Antipathy is their battle cry.

So answer this, if the Republican candidates want to get rid of Medicare, what would they replace it with? What will their health care program look like? How much would it cost? Will it get rid of the health insurance middlemen? Will our taxes go down?

Now, answer this one. If the Republicans get rid of collective bargaining for state and municipal workers does that mean they would hire more teachers, healthcare workers, police and firemen? Would this save enough money to hire all these public safety workers and educators? Will the classroom population in schools become smaller? Would there be more skilled and trained fire and policemen? Will the county hospitals have more nurses and health care aids?

And, if the Republicans de-fund and/or get rid of the EPA could air and water quality become better? Would drinking water taste better? Will the air become clearer? Will there be less coal-fired power plants? Fewer coalmines? No strange chemical in our drinking water?

Well, if you want the truth, the Republicans have no plan for health care. Republicans have no plans to hire more teachers and public safety workers. And they for sure have no plans to clean up the environment. It’s not on their agenda. Republicans have no social or environmental agenda.

If it were left up to the Republicans, schools, fire and police departments would all go private. Serving only the few who could afford it. Health care, and public safety would be on a subscription basis. Again, serving only the affluent few. Only the few and the very rich could live far out in the protected subburbs. Far away from the air and water pollution.

Is this who you want to run Washington DC? Politicians serving only the few?

This is almost as funny as Laugh-In.

I can’t help but laugh. Do you not see the humor in this wacky political season? Or should I say “Silly Season.” It’s just utterly crazy and almost bazaar. Off the wall. Politics gone berserk!

So far I see or hear nothing that would be considered serious politicizing. Just a bunch of nonsense. Babble and buffoonery. Political rhetoric taken from the Saturday Night Live playbook. All candidates absolutely “Not Ready For Primetime.” Politicians at the grade school assembly time level. You know, Charlie Brown goes to Washington.

How on Earth can anybody with good judgment believe anything from all these Republican Party Presidential candidates? They often speak of things they later regret and have to retract. Some have resumes with obvious moral improprieties. Some are “Fact” challenged. Others absolutely know nothing about the US Constitution and basic law. Then there are those who flip and flop and flip again. Candidates lacking true American values and are just in it for the sake of taking control. Never mind the basic wants and needs of America. “We’ll take back Washington and drown it in a bath tub.”

Is this all the Republican Party can offer? Are there not any rational, selfless, hardworking, and reasonably educated political candidates out there? Surely there are a few reasonable moral folks willing to take on the thankless job of running for President. Obviously the Republican leadership has not found one just yet. Well, keep on looking guys. Let us know when you have a serious candidate.