Either shop with your eyes or go to the car son!

For we East L A Okies, the springtime dress-up Easter fashion parade ritual began Saturday before Easter. The Easter slog officially started when we headed westward up Olympic Boulevard towards our shopping emporium of choice.

It was just a day of spring time fashion magic. Tawdry in full bloom with a rare blend of plaids and stripes. The latest fashionable phosphorescent colors. Okie mix and match. Oh so simple.

But anyway, driving away from our East L A home going all the way to Sears Roebucks is how it started. Yes, Sears the real people’s fashion couture located in East L A in the Boyle Heights district. My Mom, Dad, sisters, brother and myself all squeezed in to our gray 1950 Ford 4-door sedan and drove up Olympic Boulevard to the big white ten story Sears tower at Olympic and Soto street. The hollowed temple of Lay-A-Way. This was the shopping Mecca located just east of the often empty but mighty concrete L. A. river. Even though Sears was only about ten miles west up Olympic Boulevard from our little East Los Angeles adobe house, driving to Sears and back was an all morning and sometimes all day long marathon shopping event. Usually yielding very little for we Okie boys. Maybe yellow and blue suspenders. Or a pastel orange clip on tie. Resulting in our own kind of fashion statement. Okie!

Nonetheless, it possibly could be compared to today’s kids hanging out at the mall. But, not really. The difference was, our overly watchful Okie parents closely supervised our every move like hovering CIA drones. And I know this is hard to believe but we kids were hanging out without the benefit of cell phones and thumb tapping texting. However, what we kids did have, as a parent manipulator was theatrics and melodrama. Our quickly learned acting methods of whining and looking most sorrowful and deprived aided our wantonness. Brooding about with practiced grim faces. “You keep looking that way and your face will freeze and fall off.”

Once we finally arrived we always parked in the east parking lot and were greeted by the outdoor and lawnmower shop. Push type reel mowers, motor driven reel mowers, and motor driven rotary mowers. And enough yard gadgetry to make any Easter lawn happy. Plus there was an already assembled round above ground aluminum swimming pool filled and with floating beach balls atop the water. Gosh, how did they do that? And nearby colorful metal swing sets and portable aluminum outbuildings that also surrounded the pool. Enough outdoor stuff to make an Okie boy pause and think. Hmm.

For a better perspective of all these wondrous backyard accoutrements we got to climb seemingly a hundred steps. Steps up to the main Sears entrance. A pretty good work out to climb for sure.

Now, just inside the East door of Sears, were the men’s, women’s, and children’s shops. My sisters were just amazed with the splendid fashion choices. “Are you sure this isn’t the senior ladies department mom?” My mom would immediately take my two sisters and herself to find new dresses, hat, and shoes. Leaving my brother, dad and I roaming unconsciously through the store for endless hours. Looking and touching all of its alluring hardware and gadgetry. Now and then there would be a free live demonstration of a half horsepower garbage disposal. Demonstrations that would keep our fleeting attention for a half second or so. And it was always cool to watch the blowing vacuum cleaner suspend a beach ball endlessly in midair. “Wow! Just like on TV.” This search and destroy exploratory went on until my mom was finish with my sister’s Easter fashion selections. Maybe buying them each a new dress and Easter hat. More than likely, a new pair of glossy white or yellow patent leather shoes.

As for my brother and myself, my dad had no clue what to buy for we attention defecate Okie boys. We Okie gentlemen folk chose an alternative course of action instead.

So, the only thing we could possibly do to pass the time would be to wander aimlessly about the different appliance and hardware departments like nomadic mountain goats. Touching, poking, sniffing, dropping, and sometimes breaking. Put that down son!

At the outset of our mindless exploratory, we would slowly and deliberately pass the candy and nut counter. Watching and smelling the warm roasting nuts. Maybe the candy lady would have pity on our sorrowful expressions and toss out a peanut cluster or two. But the candy ladies were much smarter than we thought. They just ignored our stupid contorted Okie faces of woe.

None the less, we would just stand there in spilled scattered popcorn with expressions of want observing other parents and their kids pointing and choosing their roasted cashews and chocolate candy. How oh so lucky they were. And, how oh so unlucky my brother and I were. But Okie boys expect that. Just darn bad luck.

So we would just suck it in and move on. Real Okie men would gather up determination and wander off elsewhere. We would invariably wind up in the large appliance department observing the whirling of soap and bubble spraying already clean dishes and glasses while washing through a clear plastic front-loading door panel. Almost as good as watching color TV. “Wow! Does it really clean dishes dad? Don’t touch anything son.”

Next we might aimlessly browsed the automotive department and stared bewilderingly at car mufflers sawed in half. “Why would somebody cut that in half Pops?” Then there were moving engine see-through models. Dad, what would happen if we stuck a penny down in the cylinder? “Wow dad, look at all these car radios with all the buttons. Here is one that has FM and Am. Son, don’t touch that or I’ll haul you out to our car!”

Then the next department was the J C Higgins bicycle and sporting goods department. Complete with a life size manikin holding a J C Higgins 12-gage shotgun with hunting vest and matching orange cap. Gun Unloaded of course. Over behind the counter were the Red Rider bee-bee guns. “Can I shoot it dad?” Huh?
Don’t touch anything or I’ll drag you to the car by your ear son!”

Finally, to finish our usual tour, we walked down to the basement and looked at horse saddles and portable cement mixers. “Hmm. I wonder how this works? Do I pull this handle down?
Son, I told you not to touch anything. Would you want me to haul you out by the shirt collar to the car right now boy!”

So, after many hours of walking, looking, touching, and threatening we would finally end up back with our mom at the east door and she would already have bought me my Easter outfit. She would show me a pair of black socks or a cheesy looking yellow clip on dress ties. “How interesting?” All would be bought without my prior approval. Something I became accustom to.

“Are all you boys ready to go to the car, my mom would finally ask.” You boys? To the Car? “When do I shop for clothes?
Son! Stop your whining and head for the car now. You hear me? Shopping is over and we got what we got.”

Slowly fade to black while the Okie family walks out the Soto Street east door. Happy Easter and to all a good buy.
THE END.