If the truth be known. Online food reviews are baloney.

My Consumer Report:

Here is the dirty little secret about restaurant reviews. Especially reviews offered Online. Either on a restaurant’s own website or on the hundreds of restaurant review sites. Most of which are placed online just to sell Google ads.

What potential eaters may not know is, most reviews are placed there by the restaurant’s own employees. Sometimes placed under duress. “Say this or else!” Creating a silk purse from a sows ear. Perhaps stretching the truth a bit. A review analogous more like too much MSG on a 3.5-ounce grisly steak. “Our best six ounce premium New York cut grilled to perfection.”

Now here is a real stretch. In my little town of less than 80-thousand dwellers you can rate a restaurant up to Five-Stars. Five Stars?? This is NOT New York or Paris. Our little town would be lucky to have a two and a half star restaurant. Don’t get me wrong. There are a couple eateries here that has passable food. Sometimes cooked fresh. Ingredience used from local growers. Sometimes using some organic “Free-range” meats. But that’s it. Certainly not five stars worth.

Cooking fresh and local does not a great restaurant make. A great restaurant does not exist in a casual eating town like I live in. There is no one here willing to pay the cost of a five star meal. For example, a hundred bucks just for an appetizer? Plus a five star restaurant would not accommodate people showing up in bib overalls or wearing their PJs as they do here. Aloha shirts and faded jeans would be turned away. “No shirt, no shoes, no service.” Simple as that.

Then all of this is to not mention an inviting comfortable and clean dining atmosphere, smiling attentive wait staff, professionally trained chess, eye pleasing table settings and dining ware, live music, nearby adjacent parking accommodations, and other items most customers and casual dining restaurateurs seldom think about here. Not in this little town.

The best you could hope for here is, food prepared in kitchens that have passed health inspection. And for the most part, I’m sure most eateries here have. So, happy dining and Bon Apatite senor.

PS, if you are looking for any style of Asian Cuisine here (raw or cooked) in this little town , forget it. What you will find is American food made with snow peas and cashews. However, people most likely don’t come here for Asian. Southwest is what we have. “We got Southwest senor.”